September 19, 2005

Municipal Mismanagement

This just in! This just in! The San Francisco Municipal Railway sucks! Not only does it suck, but in recent days, it has become the bain of my existence. In fact, as of this writing, I can say with a fair degree of confidence that there are very few things I hate more in this world than the SF MUNI System ... well, except for those damn Berkeley bums. Oh, and those bureaucratic ass-clowns over at L&S. Oh, and worthless bloggers. Did I mention those freakin' bums? Ok. Point taken. Touché.

Growing up in Orange County, public transportation was always a fairly foreign concept, one that barely even registered on my radar. Everyone has a car, everyone drives, and there is always ample parking, not to mention the so-called public transportation, where it even exists, is minimal and restricted to places you probably don't want to go in the first place. The experiences I had had, notably New York's subway system and the London Underground, left me suitably impressed with the concept and excited to not be burdened with a car in Berkeley. For the most part, this impression did not change in the course of my four years at Cal, since any incompetence and inefficiency of the AC Transit System was offset by BART's performance and the fact that it was free.

Coming to San Francisco, where parking is impossible and driving futile, I quickly familiarized myself with the MUNI system. What I have found in the months since I moved to SF has forever changed my impression of public transportation. So why am I going off on this subject now? Well, I was just about to tell you; stop being impatient, asshole. Anyway, I got out of work today at about 6pm, and was hoping to get home by 6:30pm to take care of some pressing errands (dry cleaning topped the list - yeah, my life sucks, but that's besides the point). I got to the MUNI station at Embarcadero by 6:05pm ... it would be 7:30pm before I got home, despite the actual transit time being only 20 minutes. Why, you might ask? Incompetence, inefficiency, stupidity, and idiocy. What else?

The N-Line train (the only one that goes to the Sunset from the Financial District) didn't arrive until 6:45pm. This train was then followed by two more N-Line trains in close succession. Why? Who knows? Maybe the MUNI scheduler was sleeping, or maybe the driver was jerking off (practicing for the jerky ride they provide, no doubt), or perhaps my life just sucks. The worst part about this is that it's nothing unusual. No train shows up for an incredible amount of time, and then several show up at once. Aside from the obvious waste of the minutes that compose my life, the other result of this idiotic and inefficient behavior is that the first train always is intensely jammed with people, so much so that I had to spend a brutal 30 minute ride with my head hitting the metal handrail at every stop, crammed between a large, sweaty guy and a super-sketchy Gothic girl, one of whom kept grabbing my ass.

In addition to being completely unreliable, MUNI also suffers from a significantly higher freak rating than does BART. Half the riders on MUNI are dirty, smelly, crazy, drunk, or all of the above. Not to mention, the train breaks down atleast twice a week, and I inevitably end up being late to work. Cody recently wrote about the protests against the recent fair increase because it mostly burdens the poor. I too protest the fair, not because I can't afford the extra quarter every trip, but because paying more for a service that remains incredibly shitty is completely unacceptable in my book.

To top it all off, when I get home, I found a $100 parking ticket on my car, parked in the completely illegal spot of my driveway. Are you kidding me? What the hell? We pay for that goddamn spot, and yet some moron meter maid decides it's on the sidewalk. Well, I might not be able to do anything about the MUNI but I'll be damned if I don't make them shove that parking ticket up their bureaucratic asses. SF Government - I HATE YOU!